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Men's Attitudes Toward Romances?
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Cora



Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 1129
Location: Bremen, Germany

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wondered about those posts, too. I would not have let my parents try to dictate or limit my reading, and to their credit they never tried to do that either. There was one exception to that: My parents didn't want me reading comic books, because my two barely literate cousins read only Mickey Mouse comics and my parents believed the comics were to blame for that (though in truth it was probably the other way around, because they were barely literate, Mickey Mouse was the upper limit of what they could handle). I did eventually start reading comics and was a die-hard fan for approx. 10 years. At first, I hid them from my parents, then I stopped. And my parents didn't mind. Firstly because the comics I read were far removed from Mickey Mouse and secondly because they knew I could read and write properly by that time.

I am single, but if a hypothetical partner tried to limit my reading or constantly sneer at it that would be a dealbreaker for me.
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xina



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 6635
Location: minneapolis

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Elaine S wrote:
Love, when you think about it is high on the list of human priorities, it's not just something women want so it is bound to figure in "romantic" fiction. The sexual element enhances personal relationships and is found in virtually all adult fiction of whatever genre.



Sure, the writing of love, relationships and sex is found in every genre, and I suppose it depends on the writer in these other genres. I have read some male authors in other genres that know their way around the bedroom/love scene...however, I think the sex and love scenes are more pronounced in the romance novel and also written from a women's perspective. I only come to that idea because I read widely too and have since I was very young.
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Audrey



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 194
Location: Alberta, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 1:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My husband used to tell me that if I spent time reading, I should use the time to read non-fiction or textbooks or something that I would learn from. I explained to him that as a mom of three who worked full time outside the home, I wanted to read something that I enjoyed and gave me pleasure, not just one more chore to do. He tried reading one once and although he didn't finish it (he doesn't read fiction) he was quite impressed by the writing and knowledge of history the book displayed. He doesn't say much about the amount of money I spend on them either since he spends more than I do on hobbies.
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veasleyd1



Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 2064

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 8:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My husband rarely reads any kind of fiction. If he does, it has to have a "hook" into one of his nonfiction interests (Adriana Trigani into Appalachia; The Wedding Officer into WWII). I've never heard him say anything specifically critical about romance as compared to mysteries or sf/fantasy.
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JulieR



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 191

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 1:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My husband doesn't read much at all himself, so he is pretty oblivious to what I am reading. He doesn't blink an eye at some of the more outrageous covers or titles. In fact, the only time I can remember him having a reaction to one of my books was when he spotted an author's name: Mary Jo Putney. Something about that name caught his fancy, and he spent several hilarious (to him, anyway!) minutes repeating it with different inflections. Usually with a "poot" popping sound at the beginning of Putney.
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Charlotte McClain



Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 400
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 9:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tee wrote:
Charlotte McClain wrote:
I think the reason men are insecure about romance is because they watch porn. Porn gives an unrealistic view of what people are capable of and men know it. They assume romance novels are the same way.

Maybe we can use the analogy of how differently people prefer to consume liquor. Some like it straight, no chaser. And others need the more exotic mixes with the names and embellishments that accompany them. I would think what you said about men and women and their wants in reading about relationships generally sounds good to me. Not all men and not all women, but probably not far off, Charlotte. The majority of us women are most likely in the middle somewhere in all of that.


I should have added the qualifier "some." If it were as easy as "all" we'd just have computers cranking out the same plot over and over! LOL.

Even without porn to misguide them, I think men worry about what woman might be learning from "those books." Secret women's knowledge has been scary for men since the beginning of time. During the Middle Ages, men thought women's you know what had teeth. That's where the tradition of the local lord taking the bride first came from. They thought he was the only one strong enough to "defeat" her virginity.

Also I think people who don't read much, don't have the same way of looking at books. Readers view books as fantasy. We know none of it necessarily ties to reality. Non-readers don't all understand that. When One Ring To Rule came out a friend of mine bought it and emailed me afterward to ask if anything was wrong between my husband and I. In a flash of brilliance I answered, "No, why?" It took a few days before it dawned on me that he was assuming that since the hero and heroine had broken up and were getting back together, something had happened to my marriage!
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Schola



Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 1867

PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Charlotte McClain wrote:
During the Middle Ages, men thought women's you know what had teeth. That's where the tradition of the local lord taking the bride first came from. They thought he was the only one strong enough to "defeat" her virginity.


No comment on that, but . . .

On a somehow related, yet completely off-topic note: I once read in a book on dream interpretation that if a woman dreams that her teeth are falling out of her mouth or that she has become completely toothless, then she's not actually dreaming about her mouth, but about her you-know-what. Laughing

I have no idea why. It was a weird concept to me then and still is now.
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veasleyd1



Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 2064

PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 6:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Charlotte McClain wrote:
That's where the tradition of the local lord taking the bride first came from. They thought he was the only one strong enough to "defeat" her virginity.


There is no real contemporary evidence that the jus primae noctis ever existed. It appears to have developed as an 18th century Enlightenment ("we are so much more rational than they were back in the Dark Ages") equivalent of an urban legend.
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Charlotte McClain



Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 400
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

veasleyd1 wrote:
Charlotte McClain wrote:
That's where the tradition of the local lord taking the bride first came from. They thought he was the only one strong enough to "defeat" her virginity.


There is no real contemporary evidence that the jus primae noctis ever existed. It appears to have developed as an 18th century Enlightenment ("we are so much more rational than they were back in the Dark Ages") equivalent of an urban legend.


Really? That must be newer information. I read about it nearly 20 years ago. I believe in Fire In the Head. My reading lately has been a little more specific to the Crusades.
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