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PWNN

Joined: 11 Apr 2010 Posts: 828
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:00 pm Post subject: "Fifty Shames of Earl Grey" |
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"Past the tacky waterbed, strobe light, and blacklight posters inside his "Room of Doom," he brings Anna, a naïve college student into his twisted world of, well, mostly naughty dialogue and light spanking"
First three chapters found here: http://www.evilreads.com/fifty-one-shades
| Quote: | The Author's Note:
New episodes posted every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, until a publisher hands me a fat stack of Benjamins and offers to publish it. Then I'll take it down, change the characters' names to "Edward" and "Bella," and hide from my fans in my new McMansion in a gated community in Beverly Hills.
~ Andrew Shaffer ~ |
Some excerpts:
I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. Damn my hair – it’s fifty shades of fucked up. The situation I’m in is fifty shades of fucked up. I’m supposed to be studying for my finals; my roommate, Kathleen, should be the one fussing with her hair in front of the mirror right now. Instead, I’m trying to brush my hair into submission. Why is my hair so kinky? I need to stop sleeping with it wet, because it always ends up out of control. As I brush my long, brown hair, the girl in the mirror with blue eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait...I don’t have blue eyes! Then I realize I haven’t been looking into the mirror. I’ve been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is actually fine.
.......
I push the door open and trip over the hem of my sagging sweatpants in one swift motion. As I careen towards the floor, my body reflexively goes into gymnast mode. I drop the backpack and notebook, throw my arms straight out, and roll into a cartwheel. With the momentum picked up from tripping, I complete three full cartwheels before landing on my feet – on Mr. Gray’s desk! I am so embarrassed about my clumsiness that I close my eyes. But I hear someone...clapping. I open my eyes and stare down at Mr. Gray and HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SPARKLY VAMPIRES IS HE HOT.
“Miss Kraven,” he says, extending a long-fingered hand to me to assist me off the desk. “I’m Edward. I mean, 'Chris Gray.' Have a seat?”
He’s young, he’s sexy – he’s the total package. First, he can’t be more than thirty. He’s tall, dressed impeccably in a tailored gray suit, a black tie with smiley faces on it, tousled brown hair, and is staring me down with brilliant gray eyes. He’s the kind of guy you want to write fanfic about.
.....
I retire to my room and pop a Muse record onto my vinyl album player. I strike a match and light a candle, and sit down at my desk with my quill pen and parchment to write my essay on Snooki’s A Shore Thing. When I finish, it’s one in the morning. I blow out my candle and crash on my futon, where I fall asleep to images of Chris Gray’s gray eyes...
.....
“Because you seem nervous around me. You sound much more relaxed on the surveillance tapes I have from inside your duplex.”
I sigh heavily. “Yes, I’m a little nervous,” I say. “I’ve never had a boyfriend, let alone a billionaire CEO stalker flying me around in his private helicopter and holding my hand and buying me tea.”
“You’re a mystery to me, baby,” he says.
I blush. “Oh, stop.”
“No, it’s true,” he says. “I have no idea what’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours...”
“To be honest, I have no idea either,” I say, looking down at the table to avoid his powerful gaze. “Most times, my mind is just an ongoing, present-tense, first-person monologue. It’s like I’m writing a novel, constantly, but only in my brain.”
==========================================
And LOL ... he's sold it!
Interview At Romantic Times
http://www.rtbookreviews.com/rt-daily-blog/andrew-shaffer-write-fifty-shades-grey-parody-fifty-shames-earl-grey _________________ "My safe word is monkey" |
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PWNN

Joined: 11 Apr 2010 Posts: 828
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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Double Crap I'm in the wrong forum. Sorry. _________________ "My safe word is monkey" |
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Nicole

Joined: 23 Apr 2007 Posts: 468 Location: Las Cruces, New Mexico
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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OMG that was hilarious! _________________ She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain. -Louisa May Alcott |
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Yulie
Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 1053 Location: Elsewhere
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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The fans will chase after me with pitchforks, but this is hilarious. I especially loved the Kristen Stewart poster and the cartwheels, I can just picture it - like a gymnast sticking her landing!
This is real, right? It wasn't an April 1 prank? |
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xina

Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 6630 Location: minneapolis
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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I saw this a few days ago. LOL...it is funny. So...the haters and head-on-a-platter bloggers. Will they want a lawsuit between Meyer and this guy too? And he will publish it!! Oh nos... _________________ "As you wish"
~The Princess Bride |
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PWNN

Joined: 11 Apr 2010 Posts: 828
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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Very real. You can also download the first 3 chapters as an epub on Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/ebooks/download/13548945-fifty-one-shades
The interview at Romantic Times (for which he writes reviews) is pretty good and gives more background on the book. It's supposed to be published this summer. I first saw the deal listed at Publisher's Weekly.
http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/book-news/deals/article/51246-fifty-shades-of-grey-parody-makes-the-rounds--.html
What's the best way to celebrate a publishing phenomenon that began its life as fan fiction? With a literary parody, of course. On the heels of Vintage acquiring world rights to E.L. Grey's much-covered 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, and Universal snapping up film rights, a satirical take on the erotica series, called Fifty Shames of Earl Grey, is now circulating among book editors.
The comedic work, by author Andrew Shaffer (who is known to many in the publishing world for his alter ego on Twitter, @evilwylie), grew out of an experiment, of sorts. Shaffer, who has a reputation in the Twittersphere for refreshingly snarky comments about the book business, is also a reviewer of romance and erotica books. After he read about the excitement the book was generating among suburban women in The New York Post, Shaffer read the novel itself, which he described as the "Plan 9 From Outer Space of erotic romance." Amused by how bad the novel was, Shaffer started live-tweeting excerpts from the work, mocking its, er, literary merits.
Shaffer said he was drawn to 50 Shades of Grey for two reasons: the first was James’s backstory as someone who had become a self-published sensation in a seemingly short period of time. The second draw was the trashy element of the work itself. "I've read hundreds of professionally published romance novels," he said, “most of which were as good, or better, than Fifty Shades of Grey." That this book, which began as Twilight fan fiction, was the one to find crossover success, fueled his desire to do a satire.
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He’s also acutely aware of the meta nature of what he’s doing—writing a parody of a novel which, itself, is a variation on another novel—and he’s celebrating that fact. "I was upfront about my intentions to ‘sell out’—I posted that once I sold the book to a publisher I would change the characters' names to Edward and Bella and hide out from my fans in a McMansion in Beverly Hills. Of course, this all just parodies EL James' path to success, so maybe what I'm really doing is an extended piece of performance art?" _________________ "My safe word is monkey" |
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Yulie
Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 1053 Location: Elsewhere
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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| xina wrote: | I saw this a few days ago. LOL...it is funny. So...the haters and head-on-a-platter bloggers. Will they want a lawsuit between Meyer and this guy too? And he will publish it!! Oh nos... |
Parody is fair use. I wouldn't want anyone suing Mel Brooks for making Spaceballs, either. |
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xina

Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 6630 Location: minneapolis
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Yulie wrote: | | xina wrote: | I saw this a few days ago. LOL...it is funny. So...the haters and head-on-a-platter bloggers. Will they want a lawsuit between Meyer and this guy too? And he will publish it!! Oh nos... |
Parody is fair use. I wouldn't want anyone suing Mel Brooks for making Spaceballs, either. |
I was only kidding. _________________ "As you wish"
~The Princess Bride |
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Linda in sw va

Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 4708
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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| xina wrote: | | I was only kidding. |
Xina, I knew you were kidding, haha. I just saw this thread, I will likely not read this! I never read parodies of my favorite books, only those I haven't read or didn't like the original, haha. I never saw Spaceballs either.
I know I've seen a published parody of Twilight somehwere, it had a rotten apple on it or somesuch. I would take it as a compliment that this book has hit the big time enough to earn a published parody! You know you've made it when....*G*.
Linda _________________ "The Bookshop has a thousand books, all colors, hues and tinges, and every cover is a door that turns on magic hinges." ~ Nancy Byrd Turner |
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willaful

Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Posts: 1476
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:42 pm Post subject: |
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I read the parody (it's hilarious) before started 50 Shades and now that book reads like a parody to me... _________________ "I say, don't read the classics -- try to discover your own classics; every life has its own." -- Rudolf Flesch, _How to Make Sense_ |
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xina

Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 6630 Location: minneapolis
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Linda in sw va wrote: |
I know I've seen a published parody of Twilight somehwere, it had a rotten apple on it or somesuch. I would take it as a compliment that this book has hit the big time enough to earn a published parody! You know you've made it when....*G*.
Linda |
Exactly...a parody is a compliment to the author. Sorry, but it is a hats off. And I have an allotted amount of pitchforks. I won't be wasting them on this. (I have to sling them where it matters...haha)
oh...and I must add that E.L. James is probably laughing too. All the way to the bank. (as the saying goes) _________________ "As you wish"
~The Princess Bride |
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Yulie
Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 1053 Location: Elsewhere
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:23 am Post subject: |
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| willaful wrote: | | I read the parody (it's hilarious) before started 50 Shades and now that book reads like a parody to me... |
I've had that experience with some books - where you're reading and thinking, surely the author can't be serious? I saw a review a couple of weeks ago that considered the first of Ward's BDB books as a parody; that was funny.
| xina wrote: | | Exactly...a parody is a compliment to the author. Sorry, but it is a hats off. |
Considering Andrew Shaffer compared it with Plan 9 from Outer Space, I seriously doubt he's being complimentary. Maybe he just felt it needed to be mocked, and realized he could make money off of it.
Your post that you were just kidding about reads a lot like your not kidding posts. |
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Linda in sw va

Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 4708
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:16 am Post subject: |
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| Yulie wrote: | [Maybe he just felt it needed to be mocked, and realized he could make money off of it.
. |
That was my point, if Fifty has hit the big time enough that a parody of it can get published and make money then it's a compliment to the author!
Linda _________________ "The Bookshop has a thousand books, all colors, hues and tinges, and every cover is a door that turns on magic hinges." ~ Nancy Byrd Turner |
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Linda in sw va

Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 4708
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:59 am Post subject: |
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| xina wrote: | [
Exactly...a parody is a compliment to the author. Sorry, but it is a hats off. And I have an allotted amount of pitchforks. I won't be wasting them on this. (I have to sling them where it matters...haha)
oh...and I must add that E.L. James is probably laughing too. All the way to the bank. (as the saying goes) |
I don't know Xina, I think we may need to run the special software program before we make a decision on whether to waste any pitchforks.
Linda _________________ "The Bookshop has a thousand books, all colors, hues and tinges, and every cover is a door that turns on magic hinges." ~ Nancy Byrd Turner |
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xina

Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 6630 Location: minneapolis
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:51 am Post subject: |
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| Linda in sw va wrote: |
I don't know Xina, I think we may need to run the special software program before we make a decision on whether to waste any pitchforks.
Linda |
Let's start it up then and post our findings. All in the name of fairness, of course. I'll start dusting off my pitchforks. Spring cleaning, you know. I'm all about shiny pitchforks. hee _________________ "As you wish"
~The Princess Bride |
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